Foiled Cat!

While my digestive problems have all settled, thanks to Simone's flaxseed drink, the same can not be said for my little cat Gizmo. He and his brother Mylo are Siamese, highly intelligent and very ambitious when it comes to getting what they want. When I stepped through the door after my visit with Simone I found Gizmo sheepishly hiding in the bedroom munching on a large ball of tin foil that I had cooked a chicken in some few days earlier. Upon investigation, it was evident, by the tipped over bin, that he and Mylo had managed to drag it out. Where upon I found Gizmo in the bedroom shredding up the foil and licking his chops with great satisfaction. Silly cat! Within hours he was eviscerating bits of tin foil all over the carpet. I have spent most of the day chasing after him, cleaning up vomit-foil blobs. Not easy when you are low on carpet cleaner. The poor little fella is now looking at me through very sorry eyes. I wonder if feeding him flaxseed will clear out his stomach of all that foil?

Fish, Flaxseed & Me

I spent last night at my friend Simone's flat in London. We had a lot of cooking and catching up to do. Simone's a qualified nutritional therapist, one of the best in my opinion. Seeing as I have a keen interest in nutrition and health, getting together with Simone always means I get lots of helpful advice regarding my diet. I could listen to her talk diet for hours. I told Simone that I'd been feeling rather bloated lately, clogged up. What I got was a rather educational lecture regarding the digestive system - telling me to cut certain things out of my diet, and implement some news foods into my daily grassing habits. Apparently I eat too many sugars. According to Simone I need to cut these out along with dairy. This information was presented to me while she whirled round the kitchen like a tornado preparing me a delicious meal (see attached Images for Simone's fine meal) of dill and lemon trout. She served me this fine fishy with a heaping of cinnamon seasoned couscous. DELICIOUS! . . . with a glass of wine of course.
The next morning before I set off, Simone had prepared a rather special drink for me. A glass of flaxseed that had been soaking in water over night. The flaxseed had expanded and formed a jelly around it, a bit like frogs eggs. Simone told me it wasn't going to taste that nice and that I should swallow it quickly (COUGH!) - it would help keep me regular throughout the day and provide me with lots of lovely Omega-3. So I swallowed like a trooper! Something tells me I might regret this later in the day.

P.S. If you'd be interested in talking nutrition and finding out more about Simone's flaxseed Omega-3 powered drink go to her website www.simonefood.com

Bring Back Swamp Thing

I'm Vampired out! I just can't keep up with all these bloodsuckers in the media. True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Moonlight, Blood Ties, Buffy, Angel - and that's just TV. Then of course there's those Cullens from the Twilight series. You can't avoid Twilight if you tried. The films images appear everywhere and on everything. Did you know you can get Twilight condoms and bandages? No, neither did I. Oh, and for the more obsessive female fan - Edward Cullen Panties. We've even had Lesbian Vampire Killers. Fortunately no one saw them and they can now be found in DVD bargain bins.

What will producers come up with next . I mean It's just a matter of time before The Muppets get in on the action and become fanged furry blood fiends. When does it all stop, this Vampire stuff. You know who I feel sorry for . . . Swamp Thing. Yes, Swamp Thing. It's occurred to me that producers in TV and Film are somewhat monster-phobic towards Swamp Thing. Favoring fangs over the big green guy and his vine leaf infected body. Poor old Swamp Thing. He's been getting absolutely no press - no screen time whatsoever because these Vampires are taking it all up. I think it's about time Swamp Thing get's his moment in the spotlight.

The 1980's Had Balls

Can anyone remember the Pogo Ball? It was a very hot mid-80's fad, and back then, as a teen, I so wanted one. A bright pink one in fact. The Pogo Ball (also known as a Lolo Ball) was mass-produced by Hasbro and it sure did look fun in TV commercials. It was a very simple concept - a colorful rubber ball locked into a plastic platform that you could balance yourself on and jump. It was suppose to provide you with hours of fun and was also tipped as a great form of exercise. The only problem with the Pogo Ball, was that after your your fifth or sixth jump you soon realized you hadn't got very far. Consequently, you got bored, very fast. Not to mention your calf muscles started to ache. The reality was, the Pogo Ball was an utterly pointless 80's invention that at the time, every kid wanted. I might just dig mine up and give it another try. If you see my hopping down the streets of London on a pink ball - Wave!

That Glee Episode

I've just finished watching Glee: The Power Of Madonna, and you know it wasn't that bad. Not that I expected it to be. It's Glee for gods sake! So, how did it all go down. Well, the episode opens with Sue Sylvester forcing Principal Figgins to play Madonna's greatest hits all day through the schools tannoy system. A great idea, but I quickly found the Madonna songs blasting in the background to be a distraction from the dialogue and storylines of the show. The cast performances were great fun, and I couldn't help but sing along with them. Sue's big Vogue number was a bit of a let down, and could have been so much more. I've seen Madonna's Vogue video thousands of times since my teens. So re-enacting it scene by scene just lacked originality. The Madonna episode, like most Glee episodes, was full of witty, sharp dialogue. While I was satisfied by this tribute to the material girl, I wasn't blown away by it. I wouldn't want to see too many more episodes that dedicate an entire show to a pop artist, as I think it could take away from what we love most about Glee - the cast of fantastic characters. Anyway, what did you think, was it worth it?

Glee: The Power Of Madonna

Full Track Listing
1. Express Yourself
2. Borderline / Open Your Heart
3. Vogue
4. Like a Virgin
5. 4 Minutes
6. What It Feels Like for a Girl
7. Like a Prayer

Today is a very special Monday. The day when Glee & Madonna merge on one CD. This collection of brilliant Madonna covers also provides the soundtrack for tonight's Glee episode on E4 at 9pm. Simply titled Glee: The Power Of Madonna, this EP contains just seven tracks. Eight if you download it from iTunes. Not one for downloading - I rushed out to get my copy, then rushed home and threw it on my player . . . and OH! what a fun romp through Madonna's back catalogue this is. The instrumentation and arrangements are similar to Madonna's original songs, and will have you singing and dancing along. The best songs on the album are those featuring Lea Michele (Rachel) and Jonathon Groff (Jesse) - Express Yourself and Like A Prayer. I absolutely love Lea's voice. It's pop-perfect in a Kylie kind of way. Borderline / Open Your Heart and Like A Virgin are stand out singles that again are powered by Lea's lush vocals. Vogue, 4 Minutes and What It Feels Like For A Girl are nothing more than average album fillers sung by the less prominent cast members of the Glee cast. All in all, as far as covers goes, this is a pretty good collection that will sit nicely amongst your CD collection. Keep on Gleeing!

Le Male Poulet

Don't you just hate it when you misplace something! The misplacing of my personal possessions is the story of my life. A constant daily battle. I have spent the last few days desperately tearing the house apart in search of my Jean Paul Gaultier "Le Male" Eau de Toilette fragrance for men. I usually keep it on top of my chester drawers with all my other fragrances and male grooming products - neatly I might add. This evening while peeling sweet potatoes and seasoning a rather large chicken it turned up . . . in my kitchen cupboard next to some herbs and a tub of Bisto! This is either the early symptom of dementia, or a new recipe seasoning chicken with Jean Paul Gaultier Eau de Toilette. I'll let you know how the chicken tastes tomorrow.

P.S. Tomorrow I'll be blogging about the Glee episode The Power Of Madonna, which aires here in the UK tomorrow evening. I'll also give a brief review of the album. Glee & Madonna how fabulous!

Ox & Car

I spent most of today with my partner looking at cars. Not for myself, for him. I don't drive. I never have, and most likely never will. You see me and cars just don't bond. The first and last time I got behind a wheel both me and the vehicle ended up in a ditch. Since then I've just managed my movement in other ways. I'm not fussy when it comes to my mode of transport. My feet are in working order. I'd happily jump on a bike. Public transport serves me well If I have a book or my iPod. I'd even be happy having a large Ox pull me in a cart if it got me from A to B.
Todays car shopping expedition certainly didn't make me want to run out and get my driving license. Especially if it meant having to deal with a car salesman. It seems as though the requirements needed to work in a car lot are - Short (under five feet five inches). Male. Portly with neck fat. Uncontrollable winking right eye. Loud voice. Coffee (from a vending machine) breath. White dress shirt with pen ink stains and a brightly colored tie. Now if you don't feel a sense of trust with this car salesman. Don't worry! Because they all place a picture frame of cute kids on their desk. This way you know you are dealing with an honest man. However, be warned - of repetitive speeches on low emissions and engine control. Guaranteed to send you into a state of unconsciousness. It was during these speeches that I wondered about emissions given off by an Ox and the cruise control of a cart. The question is - Who do you go and see if you want to buy an Ox and cart?

The Three Headed Monster

I really didn't want to start this blog by talking about the general election. But I'm afraid I feel compelled to taunt you with my thoughts regarding that three headed beast I call, 'The Brown Cameron Clegg Monster'. Like the Kraken this monster rose from the murky pauperized depths of the Granada studios for last nights ITV Leaders Debate. It appeared as though the monster was confused, disorientated. It begun spewing scary words and phrases. Like . . . Gun Crime - Pedophile - Al-Qaeda - Asylum Seeker - illegal immigrant - Recession - Climate Change - Euro, and the one that had me running to hide in the corner of my closet (for the second time in my life) - War On Terror. . . Ooh! Are you scared yet? Well you should be. Because if we are to believe everything the three headed monsters says, then the world is a terrible place to live in and the end is near. There is hope, yes hope! The three headed monster seems to think that he can save us. All we need to do is separate one of his heads, and 'that' head shall lead us. Now If I had to choose one of the heads, I'd go with the Brown head. Because of all the gobbledygook the three headed monster spewed the Brown head at least offered me a free bus pass when I am old.

In The Beginning

Well here it is . . . my first official blog post. I'm not really sure how to start this, or what to say for that matter. I'm not even sure what direction I will take this. However, you can be assured - some sort of verbal diarrhea will force it's way out of my mouth, down my arms, onto my keyboard and onto your computer screen. I only hope you'll stay around and enjoy the ride.
Richard :-)