Saturday, 19 June 2010

Happy Couples Beware . . . IKEA Causes Break-Ups

Have you ever noticed couples fighting in IKEA? Me and my boyfriend are one such couple. Every time we set foot in Ikea, walking the labyrinth of flat pack furniture, we end up bickering. We never bicker in ASDA or Sainsbury's while shopping for groceries, NEVER! We always find similar tastes in other home design shops. Yet in IKEA we are driven to separation, a couple on the verge of breaking up. He wants Lack, I want Hol. He wants Hemnes, I want Malm. He wants Aneboda, I want Odda. I mean for FUCKS sake! These are names we can't even pronounce and we are fighting over them. On a recent shopping trip to Ikea it got to the point where we were about to mutilate each other in front of shoppers. Our arguments over bathroom fixtures had become that heated. SO HEATED, we had to retreat to the cafeteria to calm down. The divorce papers were practically signed if not for Swedish meatballs, the only thing we could agree on during this shopping trip. Some two hours later and we headed to the till with only a Gasgrund Series, a toilet brush and a soap dispenser. This was even more frustrating as we had set out to buy picture frames, a lamp, and bed side tables - of which we got none. On the way out we witnessed a mother and father with their two twenty-something daughters screaming over each other. They were fighting of sofa cushions. While the Mother shoved cushions at her husband proclaiming "This One", one of the daughters burst into tears, while the other daughter screamed at the Mother "You never listen to what I want". The father eventually stormed off seeking refuge in the tropical forest which is known as IKEA's plant section. Me and my boyfriend glanced at each other, smiled, and rushed out of IKEA as fast as we could run. Happy couples beware . . . SHOPPING AT IKEA is the major cause of break-ups.

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